TRIGGER WARNING: This post contains information about abuse and drug use, which may be triggering to some.
I grew up in a broken household, surrounded by the lifestyle of dysfunction that comes from 50/50 custody. I knew I was different in more ways than one. I was born with a birth defect and diagnosed with dyslexia and attention deficit disorder at a young age.
I was completely uncomfortable with who I was and never felt like I belonged. I was molested by a family friend between the ages of 8 and 12. I was constantly bullied and needed a way to self-medicate from my internal agony.
Video games, music, food, and clothes became my obsession as a way to erase the pain from the outside world
This only worked for so long. I soon became hooked on painkillers. At age 10, I got drunk for the first time. I would take the painkillers and start drinking to produce a warm fuzzy feeling. Everything I was struggling with vanished temporarily when I was under the influence.
When I was numb, I felt normal, like none of my trauma mattered. It gave me a false sense of confidence where I could look people in the eye, do things, and not feel constantly stressed. I became addicted to this feeling, and the second it wore off, I hated having to face my uncomfortable reality. Therefore, I tried to be under the influence as often as possible.
My freshman year of high school was when everything took a turn for the worse
From ages 10 to 15, I could get away with my drinking and drug use. My parents never really questioned why I was always tired or sleeping. But freshman year, I gravitated toward a group that was a bad influence on me.
After being bullied throughout elementary school, I was finally taller and became accepted by the popular group. We would go to parties and hang out after school. I had a social life and the companionship I longed for, but it wasn’t enough, and I wasn’t happy. My trauma was unresolved.
I got hooked on heroin when I ran out of painkillers
I shot heroin for the first time at age 15 and did not stop until I became clean at 24. I thought I had found sanctuary with my sanity, but it was a completely different realm of satisfaction, and I never wanted it to stop.
I got arrested for the first time at age 15, which is when the criminal behavior started. I would ditch school and spend all day in detention. I ended up getting expelled in my junior year and was only allowed back for the last semester to walk with my class.
I passed drug tests using fake urine, and passed high school with a couple of C's and mostly D's. The time I spent expelled allowed me ample time to continue using and committing crimes.
Now, as an adult, I have found purpose with all I experienced
After looking back at my story and what I went through, I’ve found it to be my purpose to help others in recovery and to educate parents on my experience so they can be aware of the possibilities. It helps to arm yourself with the knowledge of what to look out for. Parenting is all about awareness.
When I was a kid, I had no structure, no rules, and no boundaries. My parents tried to enforce the rules, but I never listened. I would sneak out, and my dad had no idea.
Now I tell parents how important it is to learn the signs that their teen is struggling
Nowadays, with Snapchat and Instagram and texting, there’s even more of a lack of awareness of whom our kids are talking to and what they’re doing. Today, there is an Emoji drug code, where pills and hard drugs are sold via social media, hiding behind various emojis.
Parents should learn these codes and check in on their kids with more rigor. Keep in mind that just because your child uses emojis doesn’t mean they are using or are addicted to drugs.
There are other signs to watch out for as well
Some of the warning signs include if your kid loses interest in sports or other activities they used to love.
Physical warning signs of drug use include weight loss, fatigue, skin color, and dilated pupils.
Are they sleeping in later and staying up later?
Are they running out of money quickly and always asking for more?
It is critical for parents to talk to their kids
Educate them, even before you think they are old enough to have a problem. Being an outcast was also a big part of my drug use. Parents should inquire if they’re undergoing any social trauma.
Instead of treating these traumas with drugs, treat them with therapy and mental health counseling. Dual diagnosis and treatment are so important.
Treating the underlying mental health issues and the desire to self-medicate will help kids stay clean.
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If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual assault, the National Sexual Assault Hotline provides confidential 24/7 support. Call 800-656-HOPE (4673) or chat online at RAINN.
*Disclaimer: The advice on Mom.com is not a substitute for consultation with a medical professional or treatment for a specific condition. You should not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem without consulting a qualified professional. Please contact your health-care provider with questions and concerns.
